friends don't let friends not take the job

Dear Bolton Carley,

I hate my job, but love the people I work with.  I have been at the company for 7 years.  My two best friends are women I met there and can’t stand the thought of leaving, but I got offered a job that pays more and gives me a creative outlet.  I’m afraid I won’t have any time to see my old friends and that they may not want to see me if I ditch them.  Plus, I won’t always be around to be in on the inside jokes.  Do I just stay where I’m at for my friends or do I take the new job?

Cassie

Dear Cassie,

It sounds like you’ve got the 7-year itch, and nobody likes to wear calamine lotion!  Yes, it’s a tough decision to make, but you can do it. Perhaps there’s no perfect answer, but I think it’s time to talk to your friends.  (I recommend over cheesecake or double fat chocolate lattes and brownies.) 

It sounds like you have a well-established friendship.  Tell them about the new job (just remember not to say how you hate moving the piles of shit around at your current job – the one they will still have).  Tell them how excited you are about being creative and doing something new.  No real friend is going to want to take that away from you.  They will back you whole-heartedly.  Sure, you might not know every little detail about their days anymore, but it doesn’t mean you won’t still be friends. 

Make an effort to set up a weekly date with them.  It could be after-work drinks or shopping at the mall, whatever you normally would do, but be sure to follow through.  Heck, it could just be a daily conference call at lunch!  Because even though you may not know every detail of their work, you do know the basics of their job so it will still be easy to understand their world and be interested.  Plus, just think what a happier friend they will get if you take and love the new job, or maybe you’ll have more money to take them to Cancun (or at least buy ‘em a Slim Jim’s wiener at the corner hot dog stand).

Bottom line:  You have to do what’s right for you.  Never let someone hold you back, but don’t leave those someones in the dust, either.