not brad paisley's online character YET

Dear Bolton Carley,

I just graduated from college, but I don’t have a job yet.  My parents said I could move home with them, but I haven’t lived at home since I left for college.  I like them, but I don’t want to live with them anymore.  The only problem is that I don’t have any money to live on my own either, and I already have a million student loans that I’ll be paying off for years.  Is it giving up to live at home?

Signed,

College Grad

Dear College Grad,

First off, congrats on graduating!  You survived the freshman 15, the I.D. checks at the bar, the cafeteria food, the 8am classes, and all the fresh meat to get a degree.  That’s a huge accomplishment.  Unfortunately, now your reward is trying to find a job to pay Aunt Fanny Mae (Damn her!) back all her dough instead of baking your sorry ass on a beach somewhere.  No one is happy about that, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and that includes moving home if you don’t want to add to your debt. 

I highly doubt it will be as bad as you think.  For one thing, won’t it be nice to have mom doing your laundry, making you hot roast beef sandwiches, and picking up your favorite pop at the grocery store?  (Oh, does that only happen at my parents’ house?  Sorry.) 

Seriously though, your parents are used to life without you, they probably aren’t any more thrilled than you are about the situation. But that’s what families do.  They work together for the best possible outcome.  And right now, your best possibility is to live rent-free with the gracious people who offered you a place to stay while you find the perfect job.  It’s not like you have to be there all day every day.  You can leave the house and go places.  You’re not 14 and driver’s license-less.   Just remember to thank your parents often, limit details about your personal life in front of them, and scour every internet site and newspaper and billboard till you accept an offer and kick back to watch Netflix in your new apartment.

Bottom line:  Giving up is permanently hiding in your parents’ basement with your cat and video game collection.  Wisely living rent-free for a few months is a whole ‘nother deal.

bc

friends don't let friends not take the job

Dear Bolton Carley,

I hate my job, but love the people I work with.  I have been at the company for 7 years.  My two best friends are women I met there and can’t stand the thought of leaving, but I got offered a job that pays more and gives me a creative outlet.  I’m afraid I won’t have any time to see my old friends and that they may not want to see me if I ditch them.  Plus, I won’t always be around to be in on the inside jokes.  Do I just stay where I’m at for my friends or do I take the new job?

Cassie

Dear Cassie,

It sounds like you’ve got the 7-year itch, and nobody likes to wear calamine lotion!  Yes, it’s a tough decision to make, but you can do it. Perhaps there’s no perfect answer, but I think it’s time to talk to your friends.  (I recommend over cheesecake or double fat chocolate lattes and brownies.) 

It sounds like you have a well-established friendship.  Tell them about the new job (just remember not to say how you hate moving the piles of shit around at your current job – the one they will still have).  Tell them how excited you are about being creative and doing something new.  No real friend is going to want to take that away from you.  They will back you whole-heartedly.  Sure, you might not know every little detail about their days anymore, but it doesn’t mean you won’t still be friends. 

Make an effort to set up a weekly date with them.  It could be after-work drinks or shopping at the mall, whatever you normally would do, but be sure to follow through.  Heck, it could just be a daily conference call at lunch!  Because even though you may not know every detail of their work, you do know the basics of their job so it will still be easy to understand their world and be interested.  Plus, just think what a happier friend they will get if you take and love the new job, or maybe you’ll have more money to take them to Cancun (or at least buy ‘em a Slim Jim’s wiener at the corner hot dog stand).

Bottom line:  You have to do what’s right for you.  Never let someone hold you back, but don’t leave those someones in the dust, either.