beyonce knows the answer!

Dear Bolton Carley,

I’ve been with this guy for over five years.  We live together, and he even talks about having kids together, but I still don’t have an engagement ring.  I’ve tried hinting.  I even made him stop to look at rings in the mall one day, but no such luck.  He keeps saying there’s no hurry, but I’m tired of waiting around.  If I don’t get married soon, there won’t be any decent guys left.

Sincerely,

The Girlfriend for Life

Dear Girlfriend for Life,

I’m sure it is difficult to be on somebody else’s time table.  I get cranky if the rest of the world is standing in line for a blizzard at DQ at the exact time I am, let alone if I had to sit around for a man to plant a ring on me.   However, I would say you have some options.

First of all, I think you should state your case one more time.  Let him know all the reasons you would both benefit from marriage.  Be sure to speak his language (like he would get to see your boobs every day for the rest of his life or you’d have cheaper insurance).  Make him want to get married, but only try this once.  Then sit back and wait a month or two.  Continuing to bring it up or hounding him about it will only prove he is smartest not to marry you because you will instantly become the nagging wife right after being his bridezilla.  Ain’t no guy looking for that!

If that doesn’t work, I’d have to bring up the fact that you are living with him and he’s kinda used to having all things you at his convenience so in his mind there’s no need to rock the boat. (The bed: yes. The boat:  no.)  So how do you handle that?  You make yourself scarce.  Does your company need you to go on a business trip?  Do you have some vacation time you could use to visit old friends or family or even go sit on a beach in Hawaii?  Do you have a friend who’s going to be out of town that you could house sit for?  Or if all that fails, just don’t be home much.  Get that raving social life going with trips to the gym, drinks with the girls, or sand volleyball league.  Just don’t be readily available. 

They weren’t kidding when they said distance makes the heart grow fonder (hence the reason why grandma always likes your cousins that she only sees once a year best even though you mow her yard for her).  I guarantee you’ll see more appreciation, unless you don’t…  And if you don’t, it ain’t gonna happen.   In which case, run, Girlfriend, run!  Get outta Dodge before it’s too late to find a new mate! 

Bottom line:  If he likes it then he shoulda put a ring on it and if he still doesn’t whisk you up, then it’s time to find some fresh meat.